I have a crush on Portland.

A week has passed since the adventures of my last post.  One really ridiculously delightful week.  I’ve met up with old friends, made random acquaintances, had a brilliant 4th, but have been primarily working on the friendship between me and my new city.  It is going really, really, well.  I am utterly enamored.

I have the excited feeling in my belly like when I meet a new potential man, but without the anxious thoughts that usually accompany it.  I think Portland and I may be kindred.  It’s also time for our honeymoon period to end, as it’s wildly expensive and unpractical to life like I’m on vacay whilst unemployed.

I spent hours at the bar where all of the shenanigans started last week finishing a cover letter.  This job feels like it may be the one.  Like, the one.  If you’ve ever spent agonizing weeks sending out cover letters you may know the feeling.  Like the city I’m in, it feels just right…and sends a tingling to my toes.  Let’s see if that means anything besides optimism.  I think it does, but that circles right back around to the former sentence.

I finished what I hope was the best cover letter I’ve ever written and gave my generous friend who’s letting me crash in her office a ring to see if she and her mans want to hang out.  She didn’t pick up, so I ordered another beer and listened to my surroundings while half reading a book.  About a writer.  Isn’t that how it goes?  Once you engage yourself in something new, things around you seem to be along the same lines?

I felt as if the patio surrounding me was speaking another language, and I was in a foreign country.  They enacted and reacted in certain ways with one another, different than how people interact with each other at home.  Friendlier?  Faker?  Certainly louder.

I felt invisible for a bit, but at the same time not really wanting to talk to anyone.  Insulted for not being invited to a conversation I didn’t really want to join.

I sipped two more beers this way, because my friend hadn’t called me back and I assumed it was because her and her mans were wanting alone time.  I came home to the confirmation that I was correct, and felt distinct annoyance upon my entrance.  It stung.

In my experiences (and great books that have echoed, props Four Agreements) this has nothing to do with me.  Still.  Looking forward to having my feet solidly under me, my finances in order, and my life securely untethered to others directly (unless it’s a hottie who untethers me in other ways).

Anyways, I have a crush on Portland.


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