Starting over in a new city involves a whole lot of trying to get people to like and accept you. Attempting to prove yourself over and over again.
I’m smart, see? You give me that job.
I’m funny, see? Be my new friend.
I’m conscientious, see? Rent me that room.
I’m sexy, see? Ask me out to dinner.
It’s can be nerve-racking. All this showing off how awesome I am is getting exhausting. Phew.
My roomie just let me know that another dear friend of ours (21 years of friendship!) will be in town this weekend. After “yay!”, my next thought was, “I wonder what the hell I’ll be doing”. In a friggin’ week I don’t know what will be going on in my life.
I might move out of my friend’s office (fingers crossed). I might get hired for yet another super-cool job I interviewed for. I might get published again (yay!!!). I might get another mural-painting gig. Unimaginably awesome things that I can’t even think of my occur. Or, I might be in exactly the same situation. I have no fucking idea.
Phew, so tiring, this life-creating stuff.
I discovered a video the other night about the state of allowing, which inspired a train of thought about this misunderstood concept. It is often understood as a conscious-creator being all like, “what’s meant to happen will happen”, then going off to take a toke and eat organic munchies whilst thinking happy thoughts.
There’s more to it.
Being in a state of allowing means accepting each moment as it is, and not fighting it. This quietness of mind and lack of resistance allows for inspiration to happen. From the inspired idea, we can take inspired action. These actions can lead to manifestation of our desires.
It’s wise to take all of the inspired actions your lil’ heart can think up. My goal is success, by my definition: Lotsa money (of course), lotsa love (including romantical), and days spent doing things that make my heart warm and my soul grow. I have no idea how it’s going to happen. The universe is figuring that out. If I get caught up in one potential path to success I’m going to block myself by worrying that it won’t work out.
If I take all kinds of inspired actions and enjoy the process of carrying them out, sans attachment to the end result of the action, I am in a state of allowing.
I am also in a state where I have no idea what might change before my friend gets here.
This makes me tired.
I just have to do my best at all the things that occur to me, and-key-enjoy it.
Send me some happy thoughts, yo.