I discovered, or remembered, a trying truth of being 3D incarnate this morning. Without fail, I don’t care who you are, when things are not going your way, when everything has fallen apart, when you don’t know how you are going to make it through the trials you are facing—you will get a giant ass zit in the middle of your fuggin’ face.
My phone was stolen a few weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to replace it. Being sans phone in 2013 is challenging, especially whilst on a increasingly-desperate job hunt in a new city. I really loved that city bus app. Le sigh.
It was also my alarm clock. I (gratefully) have been temping, and needing to wake up at 7am. I’ve been using my super-old laptop as an alarm; is has no battery and a flailing power cord. I have been waking up throughout the night, worried that it shut off and checking to make sure that it’s still set. I inadvertently pressed the mute button sometime during the night while performing a paranoid check.
I awoke 6 minutes before I was supposed to be there and somehow rushed across town and arrived less than an hour late. Now this would usually send me into a tailspin. “How could I do that? Such an idiot! God damnit, no wonder I struggle!”, fun things like that. There was a bit of that happening, I’m not gonna lie to you…but something in me feels amused and excited. Like something is about to happen.
Am I finally on the verge of my very first nervous breakdown? Perhaps. I don’t know what those feel like. I don’t know how I’m paying rent tonight, and many other factors that have led to this giant ass zit could certainly lead to a nervous breakdown…
My belly has butterflies, and my heart is a flutter, and my head is mellow and creative. I feel expectant of something happening, something big. The last time I had this feeling I got laid off…but I’ve also had it on days where positive life-changing news arrived.
Let’s hope it’s the latter, and that this zit goes down.