I find myself again at the PDX airport, in a very different state than the beginning of my last journey. Not angry, nor half-drunk, and there was nothing frenetic about catching my flight. I’m actually an hour early…so here we are.
The last seven months have been cray. (I know, cray, but I feel like the last seven months definitely elicit a craaaay.) It was a rollercoaster; all of that struggle combined with the love of the new city, the satisfying feelings of growth and transformation combined with the sheer fucking panic. Whew. If you asked me to do it all over again I might bop you right in the kisser, but I’m sure glad I went through it.
I’m heading home to tie up loose ends from the mistake I made about a year ago, getting a DUI, filled with such different feelings about my destination compared to when I left. I was so hurt and angry at my hometown and tons of its inhabitants then. Now it’s quite clear that my unhappiness didn’t have much to do with there nor them, it was just my own shite, and it was time to deal with it.
The shite has been dealt with, and I feel released from all of the things I didn’t even know were shackling me before. I’m really excited to go home and see all of my buddies, the beautiful mountains, and Juneau’s eccentric charm.
I’m also really excited to come back to my new life here; with my gainful employment at a kick-ass non-profit, my conscious amazing friends, and Portland’s eccentric charm. L-I-V-I-N, baby.