Ego – who am I?

I just came across a Twitter post by Alex Grey including a gorgeous painting he did.  It shows a man being enslaved by self-hatred – something only possible when ruled by ego.  Its caption says, “Hey Ego, your fears and limits are really getting in the way of my higher calling…”.  Some guy commented, “that’s certainly rich for someone so active on social media.”

It reminded me that I’ve been meaning to write about ego.  It’s another highly misunderstood concept in this “new age” (man, I’m really trying to like that label…) subculture of ours.

What would someone with absolutely no ego look like?  They would be one with Source, one with everything around them, they would be fully embraced in the truth of our Oneness.  They would see no separation between themselves and others, they would truly always see themselves in Other.

Sounds beautiful, eh?  Now ask them their name.  Where they live.  How they pay rent.  What they like to do with their time.  Etc.

We need ego!  Ego serves us in this life, separateness is what we came to experience.

An unbalanced ego is the troublemaker.

An overgrown ego tells you that you are better than others.  It constantly fuels the mind with reasons why others are inferior, why they aren’t as good as you are.  An overgrown ego is highly defensive, and ignites easily (though not always verbally).  It is constantly threatened that someone will remove this sense of superiority, as it is “who I am”.

An undergrown ego tells you that you are shit.  You aren’t as good as anyone else.  You don’t deserve the things that you want.  You don’t matter.  It is an Eeyore, but it’s not so cute in human form.  It is a victim mindset.  It will not stand up for itself when hurt, because being hurt has become “who I am”.

A healthy ego is a strong sense of who you are.  You like you!  You see the beauty in others, and appreciate them for just being them.  You see when you fuck up, you try to see the humor in it, and do your darnedest to correct it.  You understand that “bad” behavior doesn’t make you less than others, and that “good” behavior doesn’t make you superior to others.  There are only behaviors that serve you, and ones that don’t.  You get to choose, and sometimes it’s hard to know which is which.

A healthy ego never feels imperiled because it is aware of “I AM” – it is connected to source whilst maintaining an awareness of the current perspective.

There’s all kinds of middleground, of course, we rarely hang out in extremes.  There will even be days where your ego shrinks and expands in reaction to who and what you encounter!  It’s a versatile lil’ bugger, and not one to attempt to squash.  Certainly to keep yer eye on it though…

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