I woke up at 4ish in the morning from a dream where a man broke up with me because of a William Butler Yeats quote. The jist of it was “always favor the unknown over the known”, it was about an apostle, and this man had also taken it to mean that he should distrust religion. I don’t know what any of that means, I’ve never read Yeats, I don’t really know who that is. Probably nothing, but I couldn’t get it out of my head to resume sleepytime so I figured I might as well bust out some Work before work.
Anyhoo. Desire. That’s what’s been simmering on the backburner of my noggin’.
I want to be a successful writer. I want to help others in big big ways. I want my lil’ Halcyon charity cafe. Then I want my big Halcyon Center. I want to travel the world for Work. I want the man of my dreams (not the aforementioned one, that dude was a dick). I want lots of vintage clothes. I want magenta lowlights in my hair. I want to reach a level in my painting that I respect. I want eggs with garlic and veggies and cheese and a latte. (Damn, no time. Should have gotten up when I first woke!)
We want things. We want things all of our days, for all our lives. I disregarded Buddhism in college when I learned that a basic tenant of the philosophy is to rid yourself of desire. (The more I write, the less I bitch about my education being a waste of cash!) At the time I was a psychology major, and I had learned that having no desire is a telltale symptom of depression. It’s healthy to want! To not want experiences is to not want life.
However: There is no happiness awaiting you in receiving the things that you want.
You cannot plan for future happy! It’s not waiting for you when you get/do/become_______. You have to be happy right now, in this very moment. With all of your wants floating in your daydreams (which I recommend you practice often), maybe heading out to manifest, and maybe not. This very moment, with all of it’s imperfections, is when we need to be happy.
Or this moment. Or this moment. But, like, Now. Ya dig?
The trick with desire is to enjoy it, the wanting. The chase. The journey. We have to hold the things we desire in our focus whilst not needing them, releasing attachment to the outcome.
“Yeah okay, I’ll get right on that, right after I invent non-caloric ice cream and master teleportation….”, right? I know, I really do. A big reason I started writing this blog is because I was frustrated with writers glossing over things like this and making them sound easy breezy lemon squeezy, when in fact they can be difficult difficult lemon difficult.
It’s just about the tone, that’s all it really is. It’s just transforming a feeling of longing into a feeling of appreciation. That really will make all of the difference in this whole “wanting” thing.
Try noticing things you have, and want, all day long. Shoot out a little burst of gratitude for your cuppa coffee, a good hair day, the fact that you’re employed, a cute dog you spot, a smile from a stranger, bloomin’ flowers, whatever. Alllllll day long, over and over.
Note what that feels like, without using words. Just really feel it – the vibration, the tone, the juju of appreciation. Whenever you’re really feelin’ the moment, add a thought of the thing you want in the same tone. Just the thing, no other words. “Success”. “Travel”. “Vintage clothes”.
Try it. You might like it…