I was awoken too early by the same reason I was kept up too late. Took my time showering and dressing, and decided since I don’t know where I’ll be living in a couple days (didn’t work out with the roommate…) it was a three tarot card morning rather than just the usual one. The cards recommended that I approach the day with a quiet confidence, faith, and focused energy/power. It felt sage, and on the bus to work my morning prayers seemed to echo the sentiment.
The day went by in a lovely mellow fashion. Super cush temping this week, at a well-known internet company. (Free avocados and chai lattes, nummers.) I straightened up conference rooms, attended to coffee machines, observed noticed how many execs also flip off their shoes when feet are (seemingly) out of sight, chatted with the fellow temp Aussie at the front desk, and noticed cute tech guys noticing me and wondered if we’d have anything to say to each other if the occasion arose. Macklemore and Kid Cudi carried me through the morning, Ira Glass and Lorde through the afternoon. Scoured Craig’s List housing/shared pretty constantly for new roommate posts. Did my best to stay focused on the feelings of the situations I want to bring into my life. Did a pretty good job at it.
Landed a roommate interview for tonight, and one for tomorrow. Sent a little prayer that I don’t get stood up, again. (Rejecting me before you meet me, what the what, dillholes?) Got a job interview for a long-term temp gig, which I hope I get, but hope even more for the dream job I interviewed for last week. Reminded myself that we are always exactly where we should be, and that things always work out for our highest and best. If it’s meant to be, it’ll certainly be. (Hoped and envisioned it up some more anyways.)
Hopped on a bus, then off to wait for another bus. A woman in a giagantuous rice hat sat next to me and we talked for a bit. She told me that she wanted to be like the woman in the rice field that everyone turns to stare at. I told her I didn’t get the reference. On the bus she said something funny and everyone turned to her and laughed, so it seems like she’s on the right track. I noticed that more people were focused on library books than on iPhone screens. I remembered to look up from my library treasure as we crossed the gorgeous Willamette river. I love this city.
An hour later I got off near the interview house and grabbed a six-pack, cause who wouldn’t want to pick the person who brought beer? The house was brightly colored, and full of twinkle lights, clever art, and animals taxidermy’d by one of the tenants. Some of the housemates cooked an Ethiopian dinner whilst composing a silly song from guttural animal noises while I chatted with the others about this blog, one of their herbal tincture creations, and another’s jewelry business. Just Portland as fuuuuuuck.
The next roommate interviewee came in, a friend of a friend of one of the housemates. Balls. She looked different like everyone who lived there and I felt brief pang of inferiority for looking so “normal”. Laughed in my head at the irony, told them I’m in if they are, and excused myself since I felt like I was impeding on the other girl’s tryout. Seems like a hilarious place to spend August, but I don’t think I’ll ever see them again. I have tomorrow’s interview, and back up plans beyond that.
Hopped on another bus. Tried not to feel too tired of feeling like I’m always trying out for life. Did a pretty good job at it. Read from the novel that put me in this lovely mood, reflective and observant, but not particularly analytic. The bus had heavy energy so I sent out light like I always do, the image of a Care Bear popping into my head. Noticed I felt strangely calm and curious about my situation, rather than nervously optimistic like usual, with the occasional cloud of exhaustion floating through my consciousness.
Stared out the window. A group of young guys looking angry yet bored. Graffiti declaring “fuck bitches, get $”. A couple looking too tired to fight anymore. Graffiti declaring “don’t ignore the humanity all around you”. An open door to a living room of laughing people playing a dice game that reminded me of folks back home in Alaska. Happy banjo players on a porch. Wondered if any of them feel like they’re always trying out for life.
Sunset hit, turning the clouds gorgeous shades of pink and purple. The kind of sky that looks too pretty to be real. The bus driver honked at a large group of people who waved, looking only fairly sure they knew who they were waving at. The driver looked embarrassed. Everyone said “thank you” as they exited the bus, as they always do here. The novel in my hands developed a twist and got even better.
Finally got to my home of the next 72ish hours and walked into the spiderweb that always manages to form on my stairs while I’m out. As I was spazzing from the webs I heard a noise from the apartment that makes my entire nervous system cringe after nine months of repetition. Yup. Time to move on.