Scene Change

I write to you today from my very own apartment – NO ONE ELSE LIVES HERE.  It’s at the edge of the Portland arboretum in the West Hills, surrounded by lush forest and filled with the sounds of loverly singing birds; until nightfall, when the froggies start a-croakin’.  It has a sleeping loft, vaulted ceilings, a patio, and there’s a pool and a hot tub just up the hill!  It’s nuts.  I can’t believe the amount of awesome.  After three weeks of living here I’m seriously just starting to accept that it’s mine. (The roommate PTSD dreams will surely fade.)  Know how I got this bad-ass freaking apartment on a temp’s salary? By posting this incredibly dorky Craig’s List ad:

This might be a bit on the hopin’ and a wishin’ side, but worth a shot!

Does anyone have an apartment for $650 or under available? I’m down for quirks, basements, or other trade style agreements. I once rented a mother-in-law apartment and took care of my landlord’s home whenever he was out of town, it was a lovely agreement for both of us. I have extensive marketing experience and I’m also an artist, maybe someone is in need of those skills? I love animals but don’t have any, maybe you need part-time pet care? *Whoa there! Just found out I need to add—absolutely nothing romantic or physical!*

I need to be out of my current place by June 1st, due to a just ridiculous roommate situation…oy! Rough experiences make for great stories, right? However, I’m a bit storied out. The idea of moving in with another Craig’s List stranger makes me want to cry. Like a small child. Who’s just had their lollipop spit on. And then stolen.

I was in a silly happy mood when I wrote it, having just found out that I had an interview for the position I’m now in.  Just a few hours later my now-landlord wrote to me saying she thought it was hilarious and two weeks later I was in!!  I get to garden for cheaper rent….swoooooooonville!!!  

The job’s a temp job as of now, but the entire department is up in the air.  The big boss retired my first week and now everything’s being shifted, I have a meeting with the new head honcho tomorrow.  We’ll see what happens.  As of now I’m a Copywriter – I get to write all day for a kind-hearted non-profit!  I’m just trying to sit in a calm trust, like I managed to do with the apartment sitch.  I say to myself, “If this is not this job, it’s going to be something even better.  Just gotta do my very best and let go.”  I listen most of the time.

I’ve noticed a desperate energy emanating off me when I’m not centered.  Maybe I picked it up after one of the heartbreaks, maybe after one of the layoffs, or maybe it was there all along…and I’ve finally stepped outside of it long enough to spot it.  It’s a feeling of panicky mistrust, it’s fear, but it manifests in wide spectrum of behavior.  It makes me behave kinda like a kicked dog who’s got something to prove… It’s really becoming.

I can usually spot the kicked-dog mood now, and if I’m at work I go meditate in one of our quiet rooms.  (Because my work HAS QUIET ROOMS TO MEDITATE IN!)  It fades immediately when I do.  Then there’s other days, days when I don’t realize I was being a flustered spaz until after I’ve been hanging out in my sanctuary of a home for awhile.  Today was one.  All I can do is hope everyone else was thinking about their own damn strange selves too much to notice.  It’s pretty darn likely.

When I’m feeling centered-awesome, like now (I shook off the kicked-dog mood by making myself dance whilst cleaning my wonderful home), I am absolutely confident that I will find success.  I’m only going up from here, babydoll.  The path ahead of me is even better than I could possibly imagine – just like My Lil’ Treehouse Home.

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