Halcyon Musings

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Tag Archives: Music

Law of Attraction-she don’t use jelly.

July 31, 2013 attraction Flaming Lips I Want Candy Kinks LOA manisfestation Music Sunny Afternoon Leave a comment

Brutally rebuffed-tuning in to calm it down.

July 17, 2013 calm centered Madeleine Peyroux meditation Music rejection soundtrack to life Leave a comment

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I noticed this at the beginning of my lil’ notebook today, it’s from last December. I was extremely ill, about a month into being homeless, and a week into being on crutches. I’d had a fall, back then I had what I called “Gumby leg problems” from severe B12 deficiency, so this a was pretty common bummer. . My foot hurt after, but not as much as body-wide fibromyalgia pain, which had gone from annoying to completely debilitating during the months in bed recovering from the B12 nightmare. I figured if the fall truly injured my foot, than it’d hurt worse than any other part of me. Alas, nope, ‘twas real broken...shattered, technically. . So this attempt at documenting my recovery efforts was during a tricky time, to say the least. “Hrs Out” refers to the amount of time I was able to push through and be in the world, rather than lying down in the backseat of my car in bonkers pain. I’d started documenting because I was finally making progress — these numbers were really exciting to me! . They probably didn’t last long, I remember being a wreck for January. But by late Spring I could count on functional 8 hours most days, I’d even started working and was subletting a room. I credit the improvement to warmer weather and my commitment to the movement column (if not my commitment to documenting it). It’s one year later and I’m hurting from colder weather again; which is comical because I’m an Alaskan in California, but I don’t make the rules. . I’m now up to about a half hour a physical therapy every day, which has given me many more functional hours. Significantly less than summer, but I’m still up and doing stuff (if only around the house) for 8 hours more days than not. Honestly, I’m not as far along in my recovery as I’d hoped, I’ve really made it the center of my world — but still wayyyyy better than last year and I’m grateful for it indeed. Baby steps, eh?

We’re gonna spend a lifetime with ourselves, so we might as well get comfy. ❤️ . . . #Repost @grounded.in.gratitude with @get_repost ・・・ Today was a quiet kinda day... not that it wasn’t vacant of noise... activity... or some things to get done. But it was a day of gliding alone... a #soul #quiet ~ ah, I love those kinda days. I feel so at my best when I have them 🙏🏻💗 - @grounded.in.gratitude

I wasn’t feeling so hot today, and for once the culprit wasn’t fibromyalgia — it was my third hangover of 2018. Oopsie daisies! At the ripe age of 35 I finally figured out just how much vino I can have sans punishment, but I didn’t take into account the massive size of my wine mug last night... I did enjoy myself though! And it all started with a friend treating me to happy hour and getting to play a riveting game of giant Jenga, so all-in-all: worth it. . No plans for a repeat performance though, haha. Man, I probably spent a third of my 20s feeling like I did today, but it was so much worse before because I had undiagnosed B12 deficiency; no idea what the relation is but hangovers used to make me feel like I was dyyying before. Guess I just found it worth it? I do gots stories. . Despite my folly, I had pretty low fibro symptoms today and got lots of stuffs done. It’s looking like I’ll be doing freelance content writing for a cannabis marketing firm so I’m amped about that. Sorted other irons in the ol’ fire. I bet I get magical news any day now! Hope you’ve salvaged yourself a gorgeous evening 😘

It can be tempting to romanticize your own story. To repeatedly look at all that you've been through, and decide what kind of person you are because of it. But it's vacuous. It's just something that happened, it doesn't even exist anymore. . You are what you've learned from the experience, and applying it can only take place in the present.⠀

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