Wow, just reread my last post. How did I even get through that?! Fuckybaaaalls that was hard. I was homeless for a total of 7 months, with my car/home breaking down a couple more terrifying times. Eventually, an Instagram follower-turned-friend introduced me to the manager of a cannabis dispensary who hired me on to do their marketing, yay! The job only lasted 6 months of it’s own, but I was able to get on my feet during that time. Whew.
First I moved into a Playa del Rey actress’s bedroom, with her sleeping in the living room. It was really not a good fit. Really. A big step up from living in my car, but there weren’t any other humans in my car… She was a handful! Goodness. But I saved up for a couple months and was finally able to pay a full deposit to get me into a room in a San Pedro house that’s a fabulous fit. I have three roommates that I hardly ever see, and when I do it’s delightful.
San Pedro is super cool. It’s a city that’s technically part of Los Angeles, just north of Long Beach. It’s often described as “working class” by people in surrounding areas, with it’s claim to fame being it’s ports, fishing industry, and cultural diversity. Rent is cheaper here and people are way chiller, I dig it. There’s also several awesome beaches under 10 minutes from my house, swoon swoon swoon.
And I’m even healthy enough to walk on sand, yaaaaay! Over this year, the hotter/dryer weather, continued progressive physical therapy, my crazy-healthy diet, and lots of self-caring it up have really helped worlds in the fibromyalgia/health sitch department. When I started at the dispensary I was only able to work 16 hours a week, but built up to double that while I was there; wanting to work more but halted by the budget cuts that eventually killed my job. (I start a full-time job tomorrow, I’m just assuming I can do it and hoping not to be proven wrong… Wish me luck!) I’m now up to ~15 minutes of exercise 2x/day, plus walks when I can do ’em – often on/at the beach. Ah.
I remember a friend and I went to an Oregon beach in spring of 2017, and walking on the sand for literally less than two minutes gave me a gnarly fibro flare that sent my symptoms to crying-levels for weeks. It was horrible. I had been feeling so good, so excited about being able to move from a walker to a cane – then BOOM, hopes crushed.
Then I lost my home, keeping that crushed-feeling for a long time there. Then breaking my leg, whilst homeless, last November added some literal crush factor. Crutches kept me away from any real California beach-attempts until early spring; but I was shocked and delighted at the ease of my first post-crutches attempt, I think those buggers did a lot for my endurance.
I LOVED working in the cannabis industry. I focused hard on finding another job in it after the layoff, but didn’t have any bites. Competitive and unstable aren’t what I’m seeking anyhoo though, I’d just really like to get my feet solidly under me: pay people back, save a few month’s bills, fix my wonky yellow tooth, officially change my name, get a smog-tested and registered car. (And tattoos, two tattoos. Though they have nothing at all to do with stability, I think about buying them and my big ass canvas, to start my Spiritual Heros series, all the time. They will be signs of my stability and abundance when I finally get to get ’em.)
And my beloved bookbaby. I’m still working on making How I Lost All My F-cks happen with all my might (errr, what’s left of it after life-fixing all day), though without much to show for my efforts. My agent dumped me after I told her I was homeless and I haven’t had a lot of energy for freelance writing, but did get an article on Huffington Post since September’s layoff, which is giving me a boost and a potential content-writing gig.
I’m also finally healthy enough to try out my book/experience! My 36th birthday was a week-and-a-half ago and I started my first HILAMF experience. (It’s a month-long experience: part book, part meditation challenge, part 20 dare-like adventures…) I did the Primal Scream yesterday and it felt fan-fucking-tastic. I’m very anxious about the two relationship-oriented Fuckless Adventures: Give an Apology and Tell Someone How You Really Feel. I know what I’m going to do but have been shying away from relationships, at all, really, since everything. My social muscles are weak. (But that’s why I included challenges from all realms of life, eh? Gotta hit everyone’s challenge spots. Even, especially, mine.)
Alright, I think we’re caught up, trusty old blog. I start working for the City of Long Beach through a temp company tomorrow, please send healthy juju and wishes of luck! Hope your day’s a goodie.
Halcyon Musings 