I’ve been thinking a whole lot about becoming Self-centered. I don’t mean a person who doesn’t care about others, or about how their actions affect others; I mean self with a capital S, the holy Self, the potential of all you could be. The Maslow self, the top of his pyramid (which is awfully similar to the chakra line-up, eh?), the you-est you you can be. Or, your Soul expressed in human form, the Self.
Self-centered: To be centered in one’s Self, rather than bouncing off and reacting to everyone else.
To do this involves shedding some habits. Worrying about what other people think of you is numero uno, friends. You must give no fucks. They’re busy thinking about themselves anyways, folks aren’t nearly as concerned with our affairs as we think.
And if they are? Well they sound dull, and maybe aren’t the best company anyhoo. If we surround ourselves with people who think of us as a disappointment, or too-something, or not-enough-whatever, we will, if only on a subconscious level, agree with them. Notice how you feel after interactions. Draw boundaries. With a fierce ass wall, or just by creating distance. You deserve people who truly SEE you.
Trying to get approval from others is another biggie. We must approve of ourselves or we’ll be seeking validation from the outside for the rest of our livelong days. Is that what you want to do with this one wild life?
Learning to still the mind is crucial. If you’ve never meditated, do ‘er today. I have tips here. If we aren’t aware of what our mind is doing, which is generally the pre-meditation way, we certainly can’t expect to reframe things in any manner that sticks. We must be aware of Self-harming mental constructs (such as thinking you aren’t worthy) in order to release them.
Putting yourself first is the key. Self-love is the way. Take care of you, give yourself exactly what you need. Do what what makes your heart sing. Do what you want. Don’t go neglecting your kiddos or anything, but they’ll be fine if you take a long ass bath and have a couple glasses of vino. Take care of you, be honest with yourself about how you feel. Do whatever you need to do to feel good! I promise these efforts will authenticate your empathy, not diminish it. You will not become a jerk-a-ronious.
(On a personal note, I seem to be getting healthier by the day! Spending every good hour chasing (enticing?) my dreams.)